Forms and ephemera · March 31, 1983
April Fool's satire about book burning
Easy Reader April Fool edition presents fictional Enemies of the Library and mock capture of Steve Izant, with a staged or repurposed image. The piece is satire, not a report of a real book-burning event.
Names in this record: Patricia A. Gazin is Pat Gazin.
Part of this item is hard to read or covered in the scan. A clearer copy is being sought.
Text
Transcribed from the scans and checked against them by Claude. Typed text comes first; handwritten notes follow it. [illegible] marks words that cannot be read and [?] an uncertain reading.
Easy Reader, March 31, 1983
Libraries to purge superfluous books
by George Bowling
A series of book burnings has been scheduled throughout the local sectors by the recently formed Enemies of the South Bay Library.
Citizens are encouraged to bring their personal book collections to local libraries for the conflagrations.
"Let's face it, there are too many books around," said librarian Ida Farr. "People are confused by all this knowledge. With the elimination of those books we know to be incorrect, human existence will be much happier."
Dictionaries and encyclopedias are special targets for the burnings. Revised reference books are being prepared by the Ministry of Truth. They will eliminate the confusion and contradictions in the present sources.
Also, all pre-revolution novels should be brought to the burning sites. Such works can serve only to excite diseased individuals' creative processes.
The first 100 citizens bringing books to burn at a local library will receive the government's just issued book, 101 Ways To Prepare Turnips. This exciting recipe book is a must for any serious menu planner. Proles will receive the illustrated edition of Spanking Nights.
"We must keep in mind that the nation's current war footing requires citizens to exert themselves to the fullest. Too much time would be wasted in useless reading. We are recommending that the Ministry of Truth ration books to the people to be sure they don't spend too much time reading," Farr said.
A recent book burning proved to be a festive social gathering indeed. There is a great emotional release in burning books that had only puzzled and confused the reader in the past. A
Steve Irant, president of the outlawed Sector Four Friends of the Library, was capture Saturday during an illegal book sale. Officers from the Ministry of Love forced him to bur the books. Irant is now receiving mega-doses of television to purify his thoughts. Photo b Justice Infinity
great feeling of solidarity is evident among the burners.
In fact, the festive air (burning pulp seems to give off a particularly sweet aroma) at one point grew extreme and the burners were only barely restrained from tossing a Brownskin onto the fire.
Though this patriotic display was heartwarming, a peace soldier pointed out that the intended subject was needed for labor duty.
A local aerospace representative has suggested that drippings from the burning books can indeed be made into a healthy foodstuff, according to an experiment carried on in a Sector Three laboratory a few years ago. The molasses-like substance can be processed into a very tasty and nutritious wafer, according to the spokesman, who preferred to remain anonymous.
Handwritten notes
• (top) April Fool Edition
• (stamp, upper right) Patricia A. Gazin / 1250 First St / Hermosa Beach, Ca 90254
• (stamp, upper right) 1250 First St / Hermosa Beach, Ca 90254
Show the original machine reading
Source scan page 16
Easy Reader, March 31, 1983 April tool Eltion Hermose Beach, Ca 90234 Libraries to purge superfluous books by George Bowling A series of book burnings has been A LIBRAP PHEPMOSA BUC scheduled throughout the local sectors by the recently formed Enemies of the South Bay Library Citizens are encouraged to bring their personal book collections to local libraries for the conflagrations. "Let's face it, there are too many books around," said librarian Ida Farr. "People are confused by all this know- ledge. With the elimination of those books we know to be incorrect, human existence will be much hap- pier." Dictionaries and encyclopedias are special targets for the burnings. Revis- ed reference books are being prepared by the Ministry of Truth. They will eliminate the confusion and contradic- tions in the present sources. Steve Irant, president of the outlawed Sector Four Friends of the Library, was capture Also, all pre-revolution novels Saturday during an illegal book sale. Officers from the Ministry of Love forced him to bur should be brought to the burning sites. the books. Irant is now receiving mega-doses of television to purify his thoughts. Photo k Such works can serve only to excite Justice Infinity diseased individuals creative pro- great feeling of solidarity is evident cesses. The first 100 citizens bringing books among the burners. to burn at a local library will receive In fact, the festive air (burning pulp seems to give off a particularly sweet the government's just issued book, 101 aroma) at one point grew extreme and Ways To Prepare Turnips. This exciting the burners were only barely restrain- recipe book is a must for any serious menu planner. Proles will receive the ed from tossing a Brownskin onto the illustrated edition of Spanking Nights. fire. "We must keep in mind that the na- tion's current war footing requires Though this patriotic display was heartwarming, a peace soldier pointed citizens to exert themselves to the out that the intended subject was fullest. Too much time would be needed for labor duty. wasted in useless reading. We are A local aerospace representative has recommending that the Ministry of suggested that drippings from the bur- Truth ration books to the people to be ning books can indeed be made into a sure they don't spend too much time healthy foodstuff, according to an ex- reading," Farr said. periment carried on in a Sector Three A recent book burning proved to be laboratory a few years ago. The a festive social gathering indeed molasses-like substance can be pro- There is a great emotional release in cessed into a very tasty and nutritious wafer, according to the spokesman, burning books that had only puzzled and confused the reader in the past. A who preferred to remain anonymous.